Recently as I was looking up "acne face maps" trying to figure out where the tiny bumps all over my forehead have come from, I stumbled upon an article from Teen Vogue over the very issue I was looking into. ( Side note: For those of you curious, this is actually a real thing, especially in Chinese medicine.) When I got to the section on jaw/chin acne, the author recommends birth control and some unpronounceable chemical (and, okay, they mentioned leafy greens) as a solution to the hormonal imbalance that is causing the acne. If you know me and you read my first post, you know this made me angry..but, like, righteous anger, because even though I have gone through so much with my skin and body in the past few months, I still want the quick fix.
Said tiny forehead bumps have been driving me mad for the past few weeks. I don't feel like my diet has changed or my products, but there they are like a taunting reminder that I don't know everything about my body and I'm not in control. Over the past few weeks I have tried mask after mask trying to detox my skin in hopes of getting rid of them. So as I wiped off my clay mask, I checked my forehead to see if the bumps were gone. Do you hear how silly that is? After a 10 minute mask I expected all of the bumps to magically disappear from my face. Why do I think that? Where does that notion of magic skincare products come from? And then I read that Teen Vogue article, one of my favorite magazines as a teen, mind you, and it struck me. I have been fed the quick fix for at least the past 15 years. I've been told that things can change overnight. That the chemicals I put on are "miracle" creams and gels and I'll look amazing in the morning. And then the morning comes and that giant zit is still there or the harsh chemical I put on has dried my skin out so much I'm peeling. So you buy another product. And then another. Until your cabinet is overflowing with "miracles in a jar". It's madness. And I know it. I've known it for a while and I've changed my skincare products because of it, but there I am using a two-ingredient, all natural, non-toxic mask thinking the exact same way. I've been programmed to believe a product is my savior.
But I know better than that. I know (and I'm telling myself more than anyone) that what is coming out on my skin is a result of how my body is operating. I know that it takes time to heal. That food is the medicine. That it can take a while of storing up good things for any change to come. Yet, even though I know all these things, it's going to take time for ME to heal, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well. I have a tendency to be very hard on myself. If something's not going right, I will find the solution. I'm a problem solver. And I love that about myself, but I also need to realize that patience is the best route for healing. There is no overnight fix, and I need to be okay with that. I want (and need) to work with my body, listening to it at all times for what it is asking of me, instead of forcing it to do the things I want it to do.
Are you experiencing the same kind of "quick fix" anxiety? What is getting you through the frustrating times?